all these while i've wanted to do well.in every single thing.
in academics, in sports, in cca.
everything.
but up till this day,
i still don't know why.
why i'm doing this.
for the satisfaction?
or the pride?
or what.
i don't need to earn big bucks.
i don't need a lexus or a mercedes.
i don't need a chauffeur.
i don't need a bungalow or 10 maids.
well you get my point.
in fact,
i don't want them.
so what for work so freaking hard.
to meet expectations that get higher subconsciously.
to cry over failures again and again and again.
when in the end,
it won't even matter.
no utopian afterlife.
or the heavenly gates of happiness.
just an end.
no one would remember your failures.
or your success unless it had been noble.
they aren't gonna write how many 4.0s i got.
or what uni i went to.
on my grave, that is.
this is not an excuse for not working hard.
but seriously.
in the first place,
why?